Cant help it

My best friend is getting married this Saturday. I couldn't yet tell her how I actually feel, just so many feelings gushing in me. My best friend, she means so much to me. I wished I appreciated more, the times we spent, how close and inseparable we were at one point. I have to admit, I was a crazy roller-coaster ride, and im not talking about your average ferris wheel, im taking about that insanely swirled and overly tall roller-coaster going 360' and still spinning. Yep, that's me. 

I have so much tales to share to my daughter or son one day, if God blesses me. The epitome of a perfect friendship, was being ainaa's best friend. I still take pride and glory admitting im slightly more close to her, as compared to my group of girls. Well, atleast I wanna believe it that way. Even though, I know how far we've disconnected some ways; we are all grown now, I thank God every time I am reminded that my teenage-hood was revolved, around a strong bond, silly, happy, so freely around a great person, who's more of a sister to me. 

As I grow, I have come to realize not everyone gets the chance of having a friendship that lasts long and as strong. I smile, to think of how beautiful of a day it was, after school. Careless and free, excited to do nothing but to enjoy each others companion, walking under the hot sun, thrilled to have only 2 bucks in our pocket. Money was powerless, time and companion was all it. Maggie was our sinful pleasure, talking, laughing, we never noticed how time flies, not until we heard the azan by 6am. Oh we spent the longest time talking, about good times, bad times, plans, memories and all. Oh what a happy time(: 

My ainaa, as I type this all, I just feel so emotional. Alan is such a lucky lad to have you as his wife. I miss you already, like as if youre miles away (we just got back from Denali). I quietly sat there, hearing our girl's make plans and just saying okay to whatever. A secret; the reason why I was so quiet about the plans of sleeping over at Dorsett Putrajaya was that, I got so caught in my feelings, sad that due to the current situation, I probably might not be there when the Tok Kadi announces you as Alan's wife. I was so crushed, i felt like there's no seat for me (i wanted so much to see you) on that day, i felt unimportant cause there is no seat for me. Childish side just got the best of me. I understand this whole wedding is nothing at all how you initially planned. Im sorry, i only understood later on. I dont want to waste any time anymore, its valuable fragile times now. 

I am so happy for you na. I know for sure, Alan will cherish you and be by your side always till Jannah I pray. I hope Allah blesses your marriage, protect it endlessly and infinite, showers you and Alan with an abundance of joy and rezeki. You deserve all the greatness in life, you've always been so genuine, kind and soft. I hope you remain as you, however you feel is you till whenever. My donkey, we've moved to where we are now. Here's to another chapter of life, a glorious and lovely one. Cheers my love. 

I am typing this now, with thoughts you probably are so busy with wedding preps. So im quite certain you wont be reading this yet. Not even sure if you are still reading blog anymore. Anyways, I love you and will always love you forever. 

May you be content and at peace, now that you're finally marrying the love of your life. Soulmates at last. 

Endless Love, 

Yours Truly.