Finding the point

*Current song im listening to*

10 am on the weekends- wake up, check my phone, sleep a little  more then i wake up this time for real, then i shower and think about how i should lose weight. Check myself on the mirror; damn i have a lot of acne scars. Walk downstairs, main intention was to finish up my assignment oh shit im too lazy to do anything productive! Laying down and scroll the so called therapeutic scroll a series of things happening in the world. *resfresh* in between instagram and twitter. ahh shit phone batteries low. damn im lazy. so i decide to do some cleaning because cleaning can some how make me feel at ease, as if everything is cleaned. lies i tell my brain when i cant be productive.

Horrible intro,

I think my boyfriend has a beautiful soul. As haram as this sound, i thank god for the intercourse that went down and created a fetus to an overwhelming perfect human being. I think i found him? the most annoying yet understanding and patient human on earth, patient enough for me. He is a darling.

Deep down i know im a mess. Not the biggest mess, but quite one. Nothing wrong about being a mess btw. My problem that has concerned my surroundings now, is that i have this tendency to get things done quickly, an urgency i have. I like being fast, to see the outcome faster. I easily get excited, but the excitement usually is short-lived. Oh and i suck at making long term decisions.

I am twenty three this year, lack of a sea of knowledge and urgently trying to get into whatever i believe to believe is "life".

Im not sorry about this post. It is sunless and dispirited.
I'll be back with a pocket full of sunshine.